Dreams shattered

I realised today, after fearing the worst for several weeks, that I think I am going to have to stop running.  Yep, it appears after all my hard work and training, that I have simply become to “floppy” to run.  Running is extremely painful now on my midsection, even with a brand new “band” trying to hold everything in.  Three minutes of running made me so nauseous (from the pain) that I had to stop.  How embarrassing with other people in the gym too.

I suppose I should just accept this…it’s no one’s fault but my own.  I got myself into this mess, and now I have to live with the consequences.  Except I’m not sure where to go from here.  I suppose a stronger person would just move on.  However, I’m not strong.  So there’s a good chance I’ll just binge. Food, alcohol, blah blah blah.  I may as well.  My dreams of being anything I’ve ever wanted to be are just pipe dreams.  What a waste.





~ by Kevin Wilson on January 21, 2011.

6 Responses to “Dreams shattered”

  1. There are no pipe dreams. Absolutely none. You and you alone decide what you are capable of. Perhaps you need to put your dream of running on hold (although I think great compression garments would help), but your dream of being fit and healthy is one you can choose to live everyday. You can spin, elliptical, walk, do ab work until things firm up (and trust me after having lost 135 pounds I can tell you they do firm up!) :o) and you feel ready to run again.

    For a long time I’ve defined myself in terms of my goal weight of 158 lbs. What person would I be when I reach goal weight. It seems like maybe you’re doing the same with being a runner. But what about the people we are now?

    I struggle to remind myself that I am far more than one dream I have for myself. I am a teacher, a sister, a healthy eater, I work out, a daughter, a vegetarian, an aunt and yes… a runner. But I’m not 158 lbs. I try to make a conscious choice each day to live for who I am today as well as to reach my goals. Your dream is to be a runner. But it will not make you more or less than the person you are today. You have worked hard to create a healthy, active life for yourself. A life that has ups and downs I’m sure. But I think one day in the past this was probably your dream.

    You’ve done amazing things and will continue to do so. I believe running will be one of them. But I hope it doesn’t define you. Anymore than 158 lbs will not define me. Because everyone is so much more than one aspect of themselves.

    Your post struck a cord with me today and has made me re-run all of the conversations I’ve had with myself in the last few weeks. Thank you for that.

    Wishing you all the best. Take care.

  2. Weird I thought I responded to this the other day….stupid Iphone I never know what’s going on with it! Anyways, boy I would smack you in the head if I was standing next to you!!! SNAP out of it! you are doing awesome. There are other things besides running. Try Swimming!!! Just wear a shirt in the water with your shorts. It shouldn’t hurt that way yet is still WONDERFUl cardio! 🙂 One day you will get that surgery. you just have to make a plan and really common let’s be realistic…EVERYONE gets hurt running…so you aren’t the only one having to quit. John’s reading a running book right now and it’s crazy how many people end up with really serious injuries from running. Anyways I love running too but I’m telling this to make you cheer up L. Trying to throw a positive spin on not being able to do it right now. Some day you can pick it back up …in the meantime…keep working out with weights and really…try swimming.. Let me know if that works!! It’s a lot easier on everything too.
    Have your little pity trip with alcohol and food for a day…but after that…SNAP OUT OF IT. Look at how awesome you have done and look at how exciting your life has become…you live in Calgary now…you have a great job that’s creating some cool opportunities of advancement….anyways, I hope this little pep talk has talked you into looking UP! 🙂
    Love ya buddy!
    Talk to you soon

  3. What can I say expect “NEVER GIVE UP” !!! In case you forgot, you already are a runner – remember the Santa Shuffle and the good feelings you had after that accomplishment??? If you have to set aside the running for a bit, it doesn’t have to be forever!! Continue with your meal plans and gym work-outs and things will tone up more and you can re-introduce running anytime you darn well feel like it in the future!!! Like Amy said, have your binging “poor me” party, get over it, and get your butt right back in the saddle boy!!! You’re on the road to a whole new lifestyle and you know deep down that it’s the best thing you’ve got going for yourself, so when you’re done pretending you’re a “failure” get back to being a “WINNER”, which is what YOU have shown yourself to be in the past year of WW !!!!!! Consider this your official “kick in the butt” ….Onward HO to a better LIFE…it’s your choice…..LL

  4. Hey Kevin, its faithbelievelove from Weight Watchers.

    There’s so much you can do! Here’s a great way to start, Go to this link: http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=bLhVflvaqX0C&pg=PA22&lpg=PA22&dq=pushing+the+cart+jorgen+de+mey&source=bl&ots=LTqVSW1szi&sig=fn3P3jogWnawIzZoE5A1yBdPqLs&hl=en&ei=5lU8Tf_PFJKGhQeGv9nRCg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CB8Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false

    Read page 22-23, it’s called ‘Pushing The Cart’ . It apparently works amazingly well. My friend is a personal trainer (she lives in London, England) and she uses this with many of her clients. She said she very rarely get clients to run unless it’s a particular goal of theirs.

    Pushing the cart is apparently effective, low impact and anyone can do it. It sounds simple but it serious works up an amazing sweat. The key is to keep the pace very slow, the incline high and your steps long. Do not be tempted to go faster.

    There are so many more effective ways of losing fat than running, in fact, my friend said running isn’t great for most people. She ran because she really wanted to complete a marathon but said it wasn’t good for her physically.

    but if you really love running,which it sounds like u do, you can go back one day when you are stronger and fitter. Just don’t give up!! You are doing A-mazingly well. I know it’s a huge disappointment and you feel failure, but don’t let those emotions stop and sabotage you. If you are an emotional eater like me, we have to stop letting it control our life!!! and stop letting the inner negative/critical voice sabotage us. No more!!! Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels!!! Be proud in how far u have come!! Have faith in how far u can go!!!! This is not a waste!! You are worthy and deserve to healthy and happy!!!! We all do!!! Don’t give up on yourself!!!!!!!!! One day at a time!!! New year, New beginnings, a New You!!!

  5. DUDE you need a NEW BLOG!! L. Give me your account info and I’ll make one for you!!

    By the way…whatcha doing for Easter?? Wanna come to GP and Dawson with us?

  6. Kevin i just thought you should know you ARE a dream. No thats You are dreamy. Come on man… cheer up. You are awesome in my books. Definitely not a failure.

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